As I have hinted, I have been going through some stuff since moving back home. For the longest time, the muddle of the situation coupled with how I was feeling meant I was not able to find the words to write about it. Luckily, with the passing of seasons - a shift occurred around the start of this year (2023) and the words have slowly come back.
Before I open up about some of the specifics in a long-form essay I am currently working on, I want to ease into it by sharing a couple of shorter essays where I share valuable lessons I learned going through it all.
A key lesson I have learned during this phase is the ability to practice appropriate discernment between acceptance and tolerance when using the former as a mindfulness or mental health tool.
Acceptance has been a key tool in helping me navigate the situation. I would use acceptance to remind myself that I cannot control how other people behave or act, but only how I do. And this is where tolerance comes in.
I recently realized that just because we accept something does not mean we need to tolerate it. The nuance to this is probably best blamed on how acceptance is understood. Practicing acceptance does not mean we have to continue to allow what we accept to harm and hurt us and do nothing about it. It does not mean we are not free to take measures within our means. Then, we might have slipped into tolerance.
So, I have added a layer whenever practicing acceptance - checking deeper to see if it is morphing into tolerance.
Now, I accept it all, but I don’t tolerate shit.